(OPENING THEME PLAYING)
-Titans, as you all know,
today is
-(ALL COUGHING)
-Sports Day!
-(FANFARE PLAYING)
-I did not know that.
-I didn't know either, brah.
You guys know
it's Sports Day, right?
-No.
-What are you talking about?
I see.
Allow me to bring you all
up to speed.
Today is Sports Day!
(YELLING) Sports Day!
Why do I even bother
printing up flyers?
Today, we will be playing the
world's most popular sport...
Futbol.
Football? I love football!
(ALL CHEERING)
I didn't say we're playing
"football."
Uh, pretty sure you did, bro.
Uh, no, bro, I said
we're playing "futbol."
Football? I love football!
And he's going to the 50...
And he's going to the 40...
No, we are
not playing football!
Uh, I'm so confused, bro.
We are playing futbol.
Also known as soccer.
Boooo!
Don't nobody care
about soccer!
It is the most tedious
of athletic events.
It's just people
kicking a ball and then
pretending to be hurt.
I don't like
"sock-her" either.
I prefer "sock-him!"
-Ow! (GROANS)
-(CHUCKLING)
-You get it?
-Ha! I do get it.
That's good.
Around the world,
futbol ignites the
passions of the soul.
It can bring a nation together
or tear it apart.
Most importantly,
it is a metaphor
for the miracle of life.
Are we still
talking about soccer?
Stop calling it soccer!
It's futbol!
You know, I've always thought
there was something sinister
about the sport.
How can people
get so worked up
over a ball?
It does seem unlikely
a dull game could inspire
such intense emotions, Robin.
What about that time
when Cyborg played
duck, duck, goose?
-The duck, the duck...
-(CYBORG GIGGLING)
The goose.
-I am the goose!
-(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)
The goose!
-I'm coming for ya!
-(STARFIRE SCREAMING)
No one escapes the goose!
Futbol is a beautiful game.
Now, say it,
and let it live
in your hearts.
(INHALES)
Futbol.
-Football?
-No, "futbol."
-Futbol.
-With passion!
-Futbol! (GROWLING)
-That's starting to sound
international.
-Sock-him.
-BEAST BOY: Ow!
(DRY SNEER)
I'm hilarious.
Great energy!
Now let's take the field!
(GLASS SHATTERS)
We look like
the athletics professionals.
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
I gots me some shin pads, yo.
-Kick me as hard as you can.
-Seems like a bad idea.
Come on, I won't feel a thing.
It's shin armor, brah.
Okay.
-(GRUNTS)
-(YELLS) Ow, my shin!
You broke my shin!
I too wish to test
the shin armor.
(GRUNTS)
-(YELPS IN PAIN)
-(SOBBING)
They're not guarding anything!
Not a thing!
(WAILING)
Oh, you guys playing
sock-him, too?
Cool.
(BEAST BOY GRUNTING)
-(BEAST BOY SHRIEKS)
-(WHISTLE BLOWS)
All right, enough
horseplay, guys.
Let's get to the basics.
Because no one plays
soccer in our country,
I've had this ball
shipped to us
from halfway around the world.
-ALL: Ooh.
-(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)
What a good-looking ball!
Ooh, a collection of
pentagons and hexagons
forming a sphere.
It's made out of science, yo!
Stylish.
It is true. The futbol
is the most stylish
piece of equipment
in all of sports.
(SCREAMING)
Now, this is
an easy game to learn.
You just have to
put the ball in the goal.
No problem! (GRUNTS)
Swish! Two points.
-(BLOWS WHISTLE)
-No points.
-You can't use your hands.
-What?
Things just got super weird!
But how does one
manipulate the ball
without using the hands?
Futbol.
(CAR ENGINE SLOWLY STARTING)
(DUCK QUACK)
Oh, dudes, we use our foots.
-But I don't have feet.
-Yes, you do.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, yeah,
I forgot about those.
Now, pay attention
as I demonstrate
a proper futbol kick.
Hi-ja!
There, I've scored a goal in
the appropriate futbol style.
Now let's celebrate
by saying "goal"
as long as possible.
-Goal.
-What is this, baseball?
The go...
(SINGING OPERA)
Unacceptable.
-BEAST BOY: (YELLING)
Goooooooooooooal!
-(DOG HOWLS)
-Not long enough.
-(DOG WHIMPERS)
Goooooooooal!
That's what I'm talking about!
Now, let's fut this bol!
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
(GASPS) Ow!
-Why?
-(SCREAMING)
How could you
do me like that?
(GROANING)
Coach, I can't go on.
(WHIMPERS)
(ALL YELLING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
-Wow! Futbol isn't
boring at all.
-(INSPIRING MUSIC PLAYING)
In fact, I feel like
I'm standing on
-the precipice of greatness!
-(EAGLE CAWS)
I am a pillar of light
in a world of darkness!
We're taking our first steps
into a new life, bro!
The futbol life!
(SOBBING)
-(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
-(WHIMPERING)
Why are we feeling
such intense of the emotions?
These feelings,
they don't make sense.
Of course they do.
This beautiful, ha,
magical ball, ooh,
was the key
to unlocking our passions.
Still, something about this
feels unnatural...
But I can't argue
with my feelings!
Goal...
(CONTINUES SAYING "GOAL")
(RAVEN LOSES BREATH)
-Hey, Rave,
could you pass the milk?
-Sure thing.
Ha!
ALL: Goal!
-Excuse me, bro.
-Whoa!
The pain!
(SNICKERING) The pain!
(BLOWING WHISTLE RHYTHMICALLY)
A red card?
You've got to be kidding me!
I barely touched him.
I don't wanna hear it.
You're out of here!
Unbelievable!
You need to get
your eyes checked!
(PANTING)
I never want to stop
the running!
I feel so invigorated.
We've never lived our lives
with such emotion.
That's right.
We've all been invigorated by
this magical, little futbol.
(CHUCKLES)
-(ALL GASPING)
-What?
Your hands!
You're using your hands, bro!
(ROBIN GASPS)
Whoa. What happened?
Were we liking the soccer?
(RUSTLING)
What is that?
-Hello!
-(ALL SCREAMING)
-ROBIN: Who are you?
-I'm a soccer troll!
My people are magical beings
that evoke intense passion
for the game of soccer.
So, you guys use magic
to make people like soccer?
Our King Goal,
Ruler of Soccer,
commands it.
-So, soccer really is boring.
-Of course.
Watching people kick a ball
and pretend to be hurt
is the most boring thing
in the world.
Yeah, that's what I said.
King Goal knew
the only way to
create interest
in his dull sport
was to use magic.
No wonder the game
stirs such proud
but unearned emotions.
What a monstrous sport!
It's time people see soccer
for what it really is.
Soccer troll.
Take us to your leader.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(CROWD ROARING)
Well done, Titans.
You've uncovered
my centuries-old plot
to make soccer interesting.
Give it up, Goal.
No more magic-ing people
into liking soccer.
I must or the sport
would never survive.
It's just people
kicking a ball and
pretending to be hurt.
-Who would watch that?
-One way or another,
we're going to settle this.
(CHUCKLES)
Then how about on the field?
One goal.
Sudden death.
And if we win,
you call back
all the soccer trolls.
And if we lose?
Sudden death.
I said "sudden death,"
didn't I? Thought I said
"sudden death."
(YELLING)
Sudden death!
-(GRUNTING)
-(RICOCHETING)
(ALL GRUNTING)
(HORN SOUNDING)
ALL: Goal!
(WHISTLES)
He is really good.
You lose, Titans.
Time to die.
You're forgetting
one thing, Goal.
The Titans are sore losers!
(ALL SCREAMING)
Yaaaah!
(GRUNTING)
-(EXCLAIMS)
-(SPITS)
(LAUGHS)
In the face!
Larry!
(SHUDDERING)
Okay! Okay! Okay! You win.
I'll call back
my soccer trolls.
-(SCREAMING)
-(CRUNCHING)
Ow! Ho-ho-ho-ho!
(SOBBING)
-(ALL GRUNTING)
-(GOAL GROANING)
I said, "you win."
Why?
(GOAL SOBBING)
So boring. Ugh.
Hey, who wants to go bowling?
-(ALL CHEERING)
-ROBIN: Yeah, bowling,
I can do that.
BEAST BOY: Yeah, bowling!
-(GASPS)
-Who are you?
I'm a magical bowling turkey.
(GOBBLING)
(EXPLOSION)
-(PLAYING GUITAR)
-(HEAD RATTLING)
-(HEAD RATTLING) Yeah!
-Beast Boy, Beast Boy.
Huh!
-(WHISTLES) Beast Boy!
-Whoa! Wah!
Get your head
out of the clouds!
Ugh! Oh.
Huh, what's up?
We were asking you
about that sound.
Oh, that's just my new song
I'm working on, mama.
It goes like this...
-(GUITAR PLAYING)
-Whoa!
-(SCREAMS)
-Not that sound.
-(HEAD RATTLES)
-That sound.
Oh, you're talking
about my rattle.
Your rattle?
Yeah, that's my sweet rattle.
Check it. Whoa!
(HEAD RATTLES)
Wah!
And how long has your head
been rattling?
I don't know.
Couple of weeks.
What?
Your head doesn't rattle?
Hmm? Let me
see something, Beast Boy.
Cyborg, I'm going
to need a hand.
-(HEAD RATTLING)
-(LAUGHING)
-I'm like a maraca, yo!
-Yeah, you are!
(SINGING LA CUCARACHA)
-ROBIN: Cyborg!
-Sorry.
Beast Boy, I'm afraid
that sound is coming
from brain shrinkage
caused by years of neglect.
(GASPS)
You must not neglect
the brain, Beast Boy.
It craves
the information, experience,
and most of all,
it needs to be challenged.
Yeah, I don't do that.
Me and my brain
don't get along.
He's always getting
me in trouble.
How does your brain
get you in trouble?
Ugh! You know how you guys
are always on my case
about my mind wandering
and telling me
to get my head
out of the clouds?
Well, that's my brain's fault.
In fact, he loves
wandering so much,
if he ever got the chance,
he'd probably wander off
and never come back!
That's why I keep him weak,
so he can't escape.
I'm sorry, Beast Boy,
but brain neglect
is unacceptable.
You have to start
using your head.
Use my head?
(SIGHS)
I'll give it a try.
(SCREAMS)
Ow!
Ahhh!
Ow!
Ah! Oh!
Ah!
Ow!
Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ah!
-(SIZZLING)
-(SCREAMS)
(SIGHS)
(GROANS)
BEAST BOY: Yo, yo, yo!
-What's for breakfast?
-What happened?
(MUMBLING) I've just been
using my head like you said.
I don't like it.
It hurts.
(RATTLES)
But I still got
my sweet rattle.
(RATTLING)
Okay, that's not what
using your head means.
-How about you try some math?
-Gross.
-Or reading?
-Ugh!
What about the brain teaser?
Not gonna tease my brain.
He already hates me.
Then, will you at least
consider a hobby?
What's a hobby?
A hobby is an activity that's
a little bit fun for you
and a little bit challenging
for your brain.
(GROANS) Me and my brain
doing something together?
Uh, we'll talk about it.
Yo, brain, what up?
Uh, look,
I brought you something.
It's for you to read!
(STRAINS)
Ow.
Don't be like that!
I know we haven't
always gotten along.
But the others thought
we should get
a hobby together.
(HEAD RATTLES)
I'm stupid?
Well, you're my brain.
Now I remember
why we don't get along.
(GROANS)
Pizza?
You know me so well!
Apology accepted!
Mmm. Ah.
Now, I'm thinking a hobby that
we can do together should be
outdoors and doesn't involve
math, reading, science,
philosophy, debating,
physics, chemistry,
attention to detail,
cleanliness,
too much physical exertion
or meat.
And I wouldn't mind
if it involved digging holes.
-What do you think?
-(HEAD RATTLES)
Gardening?
That's perfect!
Let's make some plants, yo!
(LAUGHS)
(SCREAMS)
Ah.
(SCREAMS)
How is the new
hobby going, Beast Boy?
(GROANS)
It's like a job
but without the pay.
Hobbies are terrible.
You're doing it
for your brain.
Oh, yeah.
That guy.
Anyway, you guys want
a small tomato or
a rotten strawberry?
I know this seems
like a lot of effort
for no reason,
most hobbies are like that,
but listen, do you hear that?
(SILENCE)
-No.
-Exactly, your rattle's gone.
(GROANS)
I liked my sweet rattle!
Whoa!
What happened?
Your brain is getting bigger.
It's going to take some time
to learn to balance
that weight.
I don't know guys.
If my brain gets
too big and strong
what's it going to
need me for?
Whoa!
Ow.
(IMITATING ENGINE SOUNDS)
Guys, guys, looks!
(SCREAMS)
Oh, a tree.
Cool!
I wish my head had a tree.
But this is not normal!
Your brain just wants to
get in on that gardening
action too, Beasty.
Oh, how nice!
You and your brain
are becoming the friends.
I don't want my brain
planting stuff in my head!
I don't trust him!
(CRYING)
Now help me pull it out.
(STRAINING)
Beast Boy,
take this tree as a sign
that your relationship
with your brain
is growing stronger!
You will see
that this is a good thing!
You said this would be
a good thing.
How is this a good thing?
I'll tell you how.
Head fruit!
Mmm, mmm!
That is some ripe
and juicy head fruit.
Then you must try
some of the fresh squeezed
head fruit juice I have made.
It only tastes a little like
the Beast Boy.
Ah!
Wow, that is so refreshing!
And you're right,
not too Beast Boy-y this time.
Hey! Who wants to
climb Beast Boy?
I wish to!
Check out the swing I made.
Whee!
CYBORG: Whee!
Titans, now is not the time
for fun and games.
We need to call
a team meeting.
(SIGHS)
Thank you, Robin.
Up in Beast Boy's
head tree house!
(ALL CHEERING)
RAVEN: Yeah, love the view!
Come on, shut the trap door.
Okay.
So, I had to call this
super-duper secret meeting
to tell Starfire that someone
she knows has a crush on her.
-(ALL GASP)
-(STARFIRE GIGGLES)
STARFIRE: Who could it be?
Everyone out of my head
tree house now!
(ALL YELLING)
I thinks this hobby
has strengthened
my brain too much.
He's already wandering, trying
to get my head in the clouds.
He's just waiting
for the perfect opportunity
to escape.
And when that happens I don't
think he'll ever come back!
Sheesh, with your attitude
I wouldn't want
to come back either.
I've had enough of this.
(STRAINS)
(CRYING)
I can't get up.
I call dibs on the head swing!
I will gather the head fruits
and prepare a healthy
and hearty breakfast.
I'll head up to the tree house
and... Whoa!
What's wrong with Beast Boy?
Beasty? Beasty!
(GASPS)
There's nothing in there!
You mean
his brain wandered, literally?
Yeah, and this tree
was its way out.
Now wonder it wanted Beast Boy
to take up gardening.
Beast Boy was right.
He didn't trust his brain.
And we shouldn't have either!
That head fruit
was good though.
-Super good.
-So juicy.
The juiciest.
(SLURPING)
Where do you think
his brain went?
Where it always wanted
his head to be.
In the clouds!
Follow me!
(GRUNTING)
Whoa.
No wonder it wanted
Beast Boy's head
in the clouds.
I'd wanna wander here too.
There!
It is Beast Boy's brain!
Let's get that brain back
down to Earth.
Titans, go!
Careful, he's slippery!
I got him, I got him!
Oh! I don't got him.
(SQUEALS)
Beast Boy's brain
is astonishingly quick.
Slow down!
Dang it!
It's mushy!
(GASPING)
Freedom!
Uh, oh.
We lost the Beast Boy's brain.
This is bad, real bad!
What are we gonna do?
For most people, a brain
would be irreplaceable.
But something tells me
Beast Boy is going
to be all right.
Yos, you gots my brain
and my sweet rattle back.
-(HEAD RATTLES)
-(LAUGHING)
Yes, we sure did.
Everything is back to normal.
We were wrong, Beast Boy.
We should have
listened to you.
But that's why we call you
the smart one.
That's what's up!
-(PLAYING GUITAR)
-(HEAD RATTLING)
Wah! Yeah! Huh!